The Etiquette of an Invitation

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THE GRAND FINALE

When it comes to wedding etiquette, few details are as distinct and disconcerting as the invitations. From the wording to the way you address an envelope, even the smallest error can send a treasured guest into a tizzy.  The invitation is the first glimpse into the style and theme that your friends and family will have of your very special day, so let’s get you started on the right foot!

There is No Such Thing as Too Much

Invitations typically are sent out six to eight weeks before the wedding date, with an RSVP request date of two to three weeks prior to the day, but we promise no one will complain about having more leeway to plan.  PLANNER’S TIP: if you are throwing a destination wedding or a December wedding, ample time is key! 

Clever, But Always Clear 

Couples have become very innovative over the years when it comes to their wedding stationary.  No matter how creative you want to be, just make sure that the details are completely transparent.  Include all of the pertinent information that your guests need to plan for ahead of time; i.e. hotel reservations, dress code, after wedding festivities, etc. Most brides want to have their invitations stand out, but forgetting the important facts because you are too focused on the style, will surely leave a bad impression.

Saying Too Much is Never a Good Thing 

Simplicity is key when it comes to invitation wording…the couples names, the people hosting (if different from the couples), the place and the time.  Yes, that is it.  Letting your guests know there are no children allowed, or where you are registered and what is being served for dinner all has its place…the main invitation is not it!  The guests invited will be implied on the envelope, the dinner choices will find their home on the response card, and registry information will spread through word of mouth or can sit comfortably on your wedding website.

Play the Name Game…and Don’t Forget the Titles 

So here is where Miss Manner’s work really counts.  Your guest’s names should be written correctly and their titles should be accurate.   PLANNERS TIP:  Make sure you have fresh eyes, check the spelling of the names before you are ready to send them out.  

Here are some helpful hints when addressing your envelopes: 

  • Address married couples as Mr. & Mrs. followed by the husband’s first and last name, it is also perfectly okay to list the wife’s name as well. 
  • If a woman keeps her maiden name, the names are then listed in alphabetical order by last name.
  • If an unmarried couple lives together, names are listed on separate lines. 
  • If you are inviting children then you can write the last name followed by Family. 
  • If one of your guests is a doctor or a judge, the person should always be addressed as so, if a woman is single and above 21, it is important to call her Ms. and if she is under 21 then she is a Miss. 
  • When in doubt, write it out…abbreviating street, post office box and apartment may be the easy way out but believe us when we say it looks much more elegant written out.

Deciding Who’s Name Goes on the Invitation 

Traditionally the bride’s parents are the “hosts” of the wedding because they foot the bill, but flash forward to more modern times and we know that may not always be the case.  As you know, a lot of the traditional aspects of a wedding, namely who pays for it, has evolved over the years.  Here is our advice on playing it safe:

  • Regardless of money, it is always gracious to include both sets of parents on the invitation, simply by stating “together with their parents” or listing their names separately. 
  • If the ordeal is not collaborative and the bride and groom are paying for the wedding by themselves, it is okay to leave their parent’s names off the invitation completely.

Ensuring that your invitations are worded properly is the first step in ensuring that your guests feel welcome on your special day.  Follow these helpful tips to keep from having to worry about any etiquette faux pas’ when it comes to your invitations. 

Follow along for our best tips, tricks, and advice that we've gathered after almost a decade of making wedding magic happen! 

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