Photo by Audra Jones Photography
Did you know that wedding planning is not all rainbows and sunshine? To the unknowing bystander, the period of engagement is all about love, romance and warm embraces. But…the truth is that wedding planning is definitely going to bring with it moments of stress and subsequently some tiny quarrels and displeasure. In fact, most couples do not anticipate that they could feel anything other than L-O-V-E during the planning process! While that love is the reason we are here in the first place, you will definitely need to work toward keeping that said love alive and make time to romantically connect amidst all the seating charts, venue tours and cake tastings!
Let’s face it, there is absolutely nothing amorous about budgeting but there is something sweet about the reason you are even planning finances to begin with. Life is hectic, throw in a major life event and sometimes we forget to take a step back and remember what’s important (HINT: it is not the color of your bridesmaid’s dresses). Read on for some tips on how to keep the love alive while planning your best day ever.
Make Date Night a Priority
As any happy couple will tell you, whether dating or married for 50 years, the key to keeping the romance in a relationship is making date night a priority. An engagement is not an excuse to stop romancing the man or woman of your dreams. It is important to set aside one day a week to spend some time with your partner without the distraction of wedding planning. It can be anything from a day at the spa together, to a romantic candlelight dinner to binge watching your favorite shows while in your pj’s. The common denominator is quality time! And P.S. leave the wedding talk off the table; tomorrow is another day to discuss the color of your linens.
Establish a No Wedding Talk Night
Planning a wedding doesn’t mean you have to spend every waking moment discussing it. Of course in the beginning when excitement is at its peak, it may be all you want to chat about, but believe me by week 24 you are going to need a break! Talking about the wedding constantly puts you in a planning tizzy all the time, and that is not healthy individually or as a couple. Taking some time off from wedding planning chit chat will allow both of you to destress and reconnect on an emotional level. We promise the cake flavors, entertainment choices and centerpieces will still be there tomorrow. LOVE TIP: Keep this separate from your weekly date night!!
Spend Some Time Apart
You are about to sign up for forever, so taking some “me-time” every now and then can do you a world of good. Everyone needs time alone, even newly engaged, madly in love couples. Socializing with friends and spending time apart will give you the time you need to rejuvenate, have fun and unwind as an individual. So go to the gym, plan a hike with the guys or brunch with your girls, and take some time for yourself during these hectic months of wedding planning.
Try Something New…Together
Inject some excitement and new life into your relationship by trying out some new activities together as a couple…and we do not mean venue touring. Carve out some time to take a cooking class, explore a new city, or adopt a new hobby. Fuel your curiosity all while you strengthen your bond and passion for one another. Leave the wedding planning behind for the moment and be open-minded, you may just discover something about yourself or your partner that you didn’t know!
Mix Passion with Wedding Tasks
While there is nothing alluring about picking out pots and pans, there are many “to-do’s” that can be fun and perhaps even a little romantic. If you are doing some of our tastings at home, turn it into a picnic. Need to learn some moves for your first dance, there is nothing better than practicing in your own living room or better yet, take some dance lessons. If you are going to have a slideshow at your wedding, looking through old photos and reminiscing about your life together, all the fun you have had and all the “firsts” you have experienced together is both sweet and intimate. Keeping the passion alive while completing tasks is a great way to make sure you are putting your relationship before the planning journey.
Always Plan as a Couple
It is common knowledge that most grooms choose to take a back seat in wedding planning. The most recurrent reason…they want their partner to have the wedding of their dreams. Sure that is a sweet gesture, but just remember for every groom that takes a passive role, there is a bride who is up to her shoulders in wedding planning and completely stressed out. A wedding is the coming together of two individuals. The planning process is the first lesson in compromise and working together. You will make thousands of decisions in your lifetime together, the planning journey is a great place to start. Having a “to do list” and delegating tasks according to interests and strengths is a great way to show support for one another and conquer this journey together.
Plan For Your Future, While Planning For Your Wedding
Need I remind you, a wedding is one day but a marriage is forever. Planning your wedding is going to consume a lot of your time and energy, but it is important to look at the big picture. While there are deadlines to meet and tasks that need to be completed, we suggest also talking about what you want in your future home, and what your plans are for a family down the road. Sure weddings are exciting, but being married and starting a life together is second to none.
Wedding planning does not mean that romance has to take a back seat. Don’t hit pause on your relationship, then you are not honoring this truly unique time in your life. We urge you to continue learning about one another and mapping out your future. A wedding is a very special time, but it is only one part of your love story. Don’t forget about the love that got you to this exciting point in your life.